Ambition knows no bounds

It looks possible that smiling goon Tony Blair will not be widely supported in his plan to become EU president. Fortunately in North Devon we have a more than adequate alternative in the form of political dynamo Rodney Cann. Regular readers of any newspaper in the area will have seen his face looming out of the pages at them for stories about dog poop, public toilets, refuse collection, but mainly, I would submit, about Rodney himself. After being dropped by local Conservatives as their candidate for county council elections, but still managing to win a seat by standing as an independent, Rodders flicked a further v-sign at his former political colleagues by announcing his intention to stand as an independent candidate at the next General Election.

Rodney, you plonker, (sorry, it's irresistible) you need to raise your sights even higher. Forget the political backwater of Westminster and go for the big one. Arise Rodney Cann, President of the EU. Supporters of the Blair have proclaimed him as ideal because of his "motorcade quality" or some such. In other words he looks the part and would make heads turn. Well North Devon's very own R Cann Esq, (Cann he do it, yes he Cann) would make them positively swivel.

Local Conservatives have accused Rodders, didn't the late North Devon councillor Charlie Disney refer to him as "the boy Rodney"?, of trying to destroy their "best-ever chance" of getting a Conservative MP again for North Devon. Well, fancy that. One might be tempted to think that Hell hath no fury like a Rodders scorned, although I suspect he rather views himself as a Mr Smith Goes To Washington-style candidate a la James Stewart. If the Tories had an ounce of sense, they'd be round to Cann Towers like a shot promising to buy him a one-way ticket to Brussels so that he would be at the heart of Fortress Europe ready to mount his assault on the presidency.

I shall watch the pages of the North Devon Journal over the next few weeks to see if Rod (I wonder if he would mind being called Rod) follows my suggestion. Apparently one of the most likely presidential candidates, apart from Blair, is a keen writer of Haikus. Well, that's a good idea, too, Rod. Write an epic poem, say, something like Hyperion by Keats and away you go.

Anyway, I tire of this. I've met very few politicians, certainly those from parties in power, who didn't think they were doing a wonderful job, while I viewed them as complete tossers. I realise I may be overly critical, but I do wonder whether a bunch of poets sitting around trying to exercise power might be better than the bunch we have now. Wasn't it Shelley who said poets were "the unacknowledged legislators of the world"?